and yes, don't read too much my posts.

saying that 'i wanna dieeee' doesnt mean that i would literally throw myself off the building. i would equate that act to reaching the brink of insanity.

i'm speaking nonsense. i shall dive into my bed of roses and yes, sleep to my heart's content. goodnight!

31st dec 2008

just few hours ago, i was lugging everything back like a mad woman. hair standing all over the place and looked utterly shagged. to think min can laugh bout it and say i look like rain. (that korean star like omg. how's it ever possible? ) couldn't eat anything in the morn so i'd left the rest and head for home first.

i wanna kick gan bao sheng really. kept laughing non-stop and his annoying "what the shit" and "noob" are like stuck in my brain now. all his silly fault la and yes, i'm sure the rest would agree with me for all the silly things he did. and yes, i took a photo while he was holding that pink gay bag for me. HAHA. i found it funny but apparently, the rest just concluded that i'm crazy once again. which apparently IS NOT true cos' i'm perfectly sane, kicking and strong.

and before i can get a wink when i reached home, i've gotta run out in formal attire yet again. -roll eyes to that-

forget it. stop rambling. i shall just conclude how 2008 meant to me. how it was really a weird year with its transition of events going from high to low and back to high like a very-not-exciting-rollar-coaster. 2nd year in college was definitely easier to adapt than the 1st. The least that was done was to have a gauge of how life stuck in prison would be and it was the year i get to be more aware of my surroundings and know more people.

j1 was merely in my own dreamland, good in a sense too.

well. it's heartening to know that horror, that nightmare has finally ended. now is yet another journey that we'll embark on. and yes, need tons of courage and yes, one step at a time.


toodles to 2008. and blog again after new year.
and finished NEW MOON. moving on to ECLIPSE. :D
new moon is nice though i've no idea why many beg to differ. and i hate stories when guys dump girls and expect forgiveness later. bullcrap really.

feeling like a piece of wretched left-in-one-corner note now, unseen and untouched. maybe it's just the friggin time that's causing me to feel sulkish and yes, wanna scream like a mad woman.

the blue blue sea. the amazing thing about it was that there's two shades of blue. that's for the pacific ocean i've seen while in taiwan. there's no distinct skyline and that is the beauty of it all.

you can't just helped but feel awe by the beauty of that vast amount of water. the waves, the sand and every little bit of it that make up that very soothing atmosphere. and yah, the ocip company was greatly appreciated also today. it's always nice to come together, play some silly games, say some silly stuff and laugh our heads off.

YA. the only thing that make me wanna start ranting is the seat of the bike. they are horrible and they threatened to make your life ass utterly miserable. they probably need restucturing and yes, improve on their darn bikes.

anyway, life's pretty yikey now. How it will be 2009 soon, how i feel like a jobless parasite and how I desperately need work to kill time and earn money. It's just rotting my life ass off at home. plain waste of the earth's resources i call it but yah, good jobs are really hard to find. and even if there's one, most would have been snapped up and none would be left for you.

-screams-

back to reality. there's still a million stuff to be done. i wanna watch Australia. and i wanna finish Breaking Dawn, New Moon also. And how i hope we can go batam for countdown. that would be really cool.

that name appeared in my mind again all of a sudden, after stopping for a year plus. maybe occasionally, memories would just resurface and later fade away.


goodbye. i rather it disappear and cease to exist.






P.S Happy Birthday to my dearest Ong. Her gift is a bikini. Luckily my dear sistas didn't do me in like that on my birthday and for that i wanna say i love them :D

cheers to her and to you and to all of us.

and oh yes, i'm back on the singapore soil once again. reaching changi airport once again and going through the same routes in the car once again too.

i'm so tired and i brought back many friends such as Mr Flu and Ms Sore throat. It's bugging me to bits and I wanna get rid of them. And they made me sound like an old granny speaking. Don't call my hoarse voice sexy cos' I obviously prefer my ORIGINAL voice of course.

i heard my tummy growling. dinner is ready. trilalala nights!

i learnt a life long lesson today. Bad experience. Extremely bad experience.
it is my fault. i cant even handle such a simple little task. and i hate it when i'm loaded with 'responsibilities'

a whole lot of bullcrap. i'm pissed.


whatever. getting out of this shit place seems worth it afterall.

revelations

i told them 'don't cry' cos' if they do, they would be mai suey mak mak.
i think for a moment, a part of my heart was crying with them too.

i would remember their tear-wretched faces. i would.

these memories tugged my heart a little, forcing me to accept the fact that if we would to say hello one day, goodbyes would just come, naturally.



a part of my memory, a part of my heart.
left unravelled in a chest.
kept hidden in a corner of a tower.
kept hidden in the bottom of my heart.

.

i ask myself what does all this mean to me.

somehow, i realised that it doesn't mean to you as much as it does to me.

i'm tired of this endless game of cat and mouse

and therefore, i shall end this silly game

this silly game of pretence.

.

we were playing asshole daidi/bridged throughout the night on the 11th. luck was splitted between the different beds.
BED A: me, jinhui, weizhe
BED B: huishan, fukang, wen hao.
and liza sat in between both beds. hilarious thing.
Bed A was forever stuck in the asshole cycle when the BIG/MEDIUM/SMALL asshole rank floated among us 3 while the 'royalties' would be to BED B.

thus, i floated from big asshole to king and back to big asshole sooner than i'd expected. luck is just not shining on yours truly. and my brain started to protest at around 2am plus already.

ok la. i found it funny how i would be like yay-ing when i'm the king and cursing when i fall back to become the big asshole. whateverrrr. so we went to walk at around late 2 plus and all the way, they just had to keep saying about whatever whatever scary thing that had happened in the CO room before. so shitty that i wanna run off and just use the swing.

and yes, i just love playing bridge. YAY. ain't it such an intellectual game? HAHS.

ok ok. i'm feeling cranky. i don't wanna pack. i want to sleep. i wanna watch my twilight.

toodles then.

i'm feeling so tired. maybe i'll hit the sack in a while more again. yes, again.

i've got a big bump on my head which really hurt cos' i, very intelligently, knocked my poor head into the silly meter. and it still hurts now. i bet i would suffer a concussion like really soon.

and i realise that sneak previews of Twilight are already showing. maybe i'll catch it on monday/tuesday. this is good cos' it means that i can watch Australia when i come back. and god knows where am i gonna get the money really.

class gathering later. hope it would be worth going tho cos' i'm really really broke. get it? i doubt you (the loaded kid) reading this silly thing that i'm writing would be able to sympatise with me. and yah, i've applied for my BTT. the rain was horrifyingly heavy yesterday. choi and i held 2 pathetic umbrellas and 3 taxis stopped for us. apparently, i think we looked totally like damsels in distress for 3 taxis to stop within a proximity of 50m to the mrt.

and trilalala. 27th 27th 27th! i'm looking forward to it.

toodles.

i shall just eat grass and drink water for the next 9 days.
and i shall just jiayou jiayou in finding thy job.

screammmms

i think i'm getting toooo paranoid. i'm into the endless 省钱大计划 recently. It's really that bad. I needa get a life back really.

and yah, hopefully I would get some replies after calling/sending resumes like for countless of times already. This's so really tiring. Yes, please pray that OCIP dinner would be well, enjoyable later.

c'mon c'mon. we need to get high get high but not too high.



p.s i wanna read new moon since i've finished twilight. the story is not bad i must say but it's kinda draggy when most description goes on non-stop to say how suave Cullen is. and p.s i think i can go flunk my exam cos' i just cannot catch the silly rhythm.

12 beats in a bar. quaver. and i go 1-2-3 4 times and i still cannot catch the silly rhythm. maybe i should just change the darn song.


-bang wall-

OCIP 2008

OCIP 2008: Our 6 days journey.


I've never taken Thai Airway before so it was really funny to note how i thought that the flight TG402 was Tiger Airways. But still, I like the colour of the seats cos' they are of such vibrant colours.







From Chiangmai Airport, it was about 4 hours ride up the mountain to Mae Hong Son. So it was the crazy singing experience all the way. I really really love sunset to bits.

It was about Thai time 5 plus 6 when this shot was taken. This place is some reserve

I really love this mystical feel. It's silly I know but somehow or rather, it occurs to me as a path that leads you to eternal happiness.

Yes, if only it is.

And yes, we continue up the mountain.

Trees, shrubs and more trees yet again.

Our first morning in Mae Hong Son. The misty feel in the morning. Mystical ain't it?

The route taken every morn to the dining area.

Yes yes yes. We have our meals here. And minthu looked really excited. Haha.

And you've just taken a peek at the girls' five star bunk, according to the guys. So if you think that this's real bad enough, i doubt you would wanna imagine how the guys' bunk would look like.

but i personally felt that our 12 girls' bunk was pretty cozy, besides that screwed up toilet. yes yes, better stop complaining cos' i'm sure the guys' toilets were a thousand times worse than ours.

kids of M2/3. Trying to pay utmost attention to what Edmund was saying then. (and so i hope)

Night market

Very pasar-malam-ish I know. Just that instead of it being Singapore's style (tents and what not), it's in Thai style (umbrellas or just open air)

This waffle is really really good. And 5 baht for one only! Approximately S$0.25.

And there's that condensed milk dough thingy. it's darn nice.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And for the few days, it was just teaching and playing volleyball/monkey with the kids after school.

Photos below are taken during the 1 Day Science Camp. And that very night, we had our farewell dinner prepared by our very hospitable host.

Teaching Com :D It's way too dark though.

I really find this photo highly amusing. copying the 'choo-choo-train' look. Taken during the dance performances by the Thai, with the 'participation' of OCIP-ers.

bamboo rice! :D gawddddd. it's really nice especially when it's hot.

We had star-gazing that very last night. The whole nightsky is akin to pretty crystals scattered everywhere. Only difference is that it ain't tangible sad to say. It ended when everyone was already half freezing with some of us in slippers. My toes were half frozen already.

And the final day, the journey back to Singapore.




I think this picture is darn cute. Like a fairytale backdrop with a witch's pot underneath a tree. I never got to know what that pot was for actually. A bin perhaps?





That last bit of Chiangmai. The streets are really very empty. (before we were all dragged to hop onto Silkair for our flight back.)



our drinks :D they are not bad i would say. it's a very random photo but who cares.

cheerios!

it's weird how that job has actually crossed my mind. it never did till yesterday when they brought it up so maybe, i would give it a shot by sending in some job enquiries. it would be a totally new working experience if i was employed, really different.

IF i was employed. i could somehow or rather tell that i'm going into the self-fantasizing mode, like totally.

OCIP photos would be up soon. Nah, doubt i would be taking a lot of those cam-whore photos that we so totally love taking. it's mostly the little things that we see and felt daily, left unappreciated till the last day.

it would be really memories-jolting i supposed when i post it up, maybe after this entry i guess.



side note: yikes! boey posted allllll the crap cam-whore photos on facebook. i can just go jump into a drain soon cos' it's bloody unglam. and yes, i wanna go swim. hahs.

d&d ended on the 3rd/4th. it was a last minute decision to attend only on the 2nd dec at approximately 11pm. thanks for the dress and the ticket to yinghui and yings respectively.

only thing that was interesting to take note was jj's shocked at my presence. his stunned expression was utterly amusing. well other than that, nothing else great happened actually. it's the usual take-tons-of-photos kinda thing.

it was pretty much the usual. girls in dresses and guys in suit. what more stark changes can you expect.

but i really like chun hui's answers- prom queen need not necessarily wear a dress. haha. if only i had a really nice and formal top i would definitely not put myself in a dress.

stayed over at yinghui's house till morning then lugged myself home. i would have stayed till morn i guess, if not for my barang barang that's deposited at her home. playing indian poker and bridge till morn seems like a pretty good idea too but i'd rather finish reading my twilight.

edward cullen! :D i'm so gonna catch twilight. definitely. but the silly thing is that it's opening a day AFTER i leave. silly silly peezy thing. bad. and i'm adopting too much of daowei's words too (the word 'silly' i mean). this's real bad also.

and today's the thai king's birthday. would have been somewhere catching fish in the river or even enjoying the spectacular view of wild sunflowers blooming currently. in any case, happy birthday to the king :D we didnt get to celebrate with him though.

no job. no nothing. no one wants to employ a freak who's schedule is literally madness. well, i'll still press on and FIND something to keep me occupied for a few more days. yes, and in case low's reading this, i wanna take up japanese too. shall get some guidebooks first then enroll for lessons, ONCE i've gotten a job.

kob-khun-kah (thank you) for reading.

yes yes. i'm revived. it takes me so long to finally type something here i supposed.

ocip trip was great. but it was a pity it had to end so early but still, if only we had pressed on for a couple of days more. the probability of completing the full 15 days journey would be so much higher.

now to think of it, does it really matter anymore since the bare truth is out-we're all back in singapore already. it's all about letting go and moving on but yes, memories would stay. i would made it stay and not let time erode it all away.

i would miss that retarded singing experience up the mountain.
miss the star gazing experience.
miss the high fun tian experience during the farewell dinner.
miss the bamboo rice (it's darn awesome seriously)
miss my kids from M2/3.
miss the hospitality by the thais.
miss the crappy-ness of the entire team.
miss playing volleyball/monkey with my kids (once again from the various classes)
miss eating ice cream in the morning when it's freezing cold.
miss shopping at the night market :D the wafer and the dough thingy are awesome

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
don't miss acting like zoo exhibits when some thai people would just stop you for a SOLO picture. (it scares the nerves out of me seriously)

epilogue
it ended. but cherish the memories that it gives us because they are our source of encouragement to embark new journeys in the future. 9th december would be the official closure of this journey and afterwhich, it would be kept in me for as long as i would remember.

ocip 2008: embrace
ocip favourite dance: ching-chong
ocip favourite phrase: hong nam you tee nai (where's the toilet)
ocip favourite question to students: kao jai mai (do you understand?)
ocip favourite game: indian poker :D


gahs. i can't remember anymore other stuff. shall update more when i do (:

listening to david archuleta's crush currently. it's really a very nice song and so memories-jolting somehow. the melody is simply awesome.

off i will be from tuesday onwards. hopefully everything would just fall in place when it officially starts.

goodbye singapore.



i like to stare into empty space and waste my time away. i like day dreaming cos' they are hopes of the future. i like to watch sunset cos' it shows the beauty of colours blending together. i like to feel the sea breeze and the sea water cos' they would wash all my troubles away. i like to sit on a carousel, feel fairy-ish and hope that one day, happiness would unfold before me and take me away, forever.

c'mon c'mon i wanna liberation.

.

shit.

this bit of insecurity creeping into me currently. i'm turning into a brown piece of shit. yes, shit is brown. i ain't making sense. and i wanna start exploding.

boom

.

it's really really ironic.

i think when this entire shit ends, i wouldn't exactly be feeling very very happy i reckon. more of that tinge of fear and yet relief at the same time. but happy ain't really a word to be used.

right now, i jus wanna get this shit off me. really.

BIG SCREEN. extremely big monitor.

I reckon that my dad thinks that we're all blind. Absolutely blind rats.

And it's extremely bright. So it further sums up my hypothesis. The whole family is supposedly all blind.

On a sidenote, the keys are screwed up. The G and A# became silent. Soon, all the keys will just start to not produce any sound either. We need to get that thing tune like gawd, soon.

AND MY PIECES ARE SO SCREWED. ARGH.

May God bless. Now it's time to think about absolutely nothing else but that final lap.

I don't know how on earth am I gonna make a miracle happen within these 12 days more.

I really don't.

I wanna keep believing, but courage, I just have it no more.

原来自己是多么地不坚强.

多十四天.

.

i've stopped wanting to believe

becos' my faith have started to waver

waver so much

that it doesn't seem to be the old me that i thought i once was

outgoing.

he used that term on me.

that term seem to be so detached from me already.

or perhaps it was a term that has nothing to do with me at all in the first place.

it's so difficult to keep believing. it really is.

a million things.

there's so many things that i wanna say and do. so many million things to be done. but all stump by the current predicament i'm in. yes, it stops you from doing any thing HUMAN and possibly ALIVE rather than like now; feeling absolutely screwed.

my fingers are getting stoned. it's real bad and i don't know why. they become so friggin' rigid and it's mighty-oh-how pissing me off actually.

and i wanna learn driving. despite scares from my cousin, i still think it would be great to learn driving. the way he describes how the exam takes place jus scare me off pretty badly.

and i hope that the library ice-cream aunty can always be there. at least we don't have to walk a mile just to grab an ice-cream. and the bread is nice.

and i wish the swings were a little nearer.
and i wish i were a little richer.
and i wish that i've more than 24 hours.
and i wish that i would lead my life in every fulfilling way that i could.
and i wish that time can just stop now.

oh my tian.

100% SATURATION.

100% hydrocarbon.

100% wants her life back.

you really need to sit down and rethink your goals at times

this will make you more focused and more geared up to continue further

.

10/10/2008

well. i'm gonna follow the footsteps of a friend and type a VERY long nonsensical post here.

if i can that is.

today is the last day of school (as of 11.11pm. cool time i know). the farewell assembly was pretty great or should i say, it was only the videos that were mainly touching and funny. The GP video was directed by 3107's tutor Mr Ivan Ang. I think it's totally his style kinda thing, absolutely sleek yet funny. And Ms Dalgit is really funny.

And the video we made was shown. Supposed to have music but apparently the sound system failed which was so disappointing cos' i spent like an hour trying to put the music in. urgh. irritating. It's only gratifying when you see at least some people crying while see-ing the video but yes, that failed also. I bet it's because of NO music = NO atmosphere. Yes, i'm sadistic i know.

so yesterday was such a burnt up day cos' it took me like bloody long before all discs were burnt and yes, i almost went nuts.

whatever whatever. at least everyone got gifts and i hope they like it :D

And we stayed back to have a long talk with Mr Ang. Mr Ang received a big board from us and he must look at it everyday since we came up with sooooo many photos. And hopefully, no nightmares of having to see so many cam-whore photos of us all. And Ms Ma was real funny.

Well, the past 2 years have been really hard. Things got better only this year actually when I could slow down a little, breathe a little and be myself again a little. Last year was a total nightmare. This year is like that as well jus that things ended on a slightly different note i guess.

Things change. People change. One's belief changes as well with time. It's inevitable i guess. But it has made me stronger so much so that I've become numb to it all. Resigned is the word. Mr Ang was talking bout relationships between men. It's complex I guess and yes, Human relationships should be of a higher priority than work. I used to believe in it but I lost sight of that later on for that past 1 year. It was compromised and everything just felt so mess up.

It jeopardized so much more than it should have.

Come to think of it now, that perfect grade seemed to be a slap on my face and my heart actually.

and the only thing that I wanna think about now is life after A's. No i should correct myself, life now before A's since i've only 3 weeks plus before everything starts.

I need my life back a little, desperately.

last day of school tomorrow.
this's bit of missing school, missing 3107 and missing walking towards all the different venues.
ironically, there's this thing in me that really wish school would stop soon.

it's really contradictory.

exceptions

when things start to go wrong,

they won't go right at all already.

Han wei said something funny which i felt i must share. I was telling him the amount that i've left in my edusave.

there's essentially only 3 bucks plus and he was like "wah. can withdraw a not. can go buy 3 boxes of pocky"

LIKE LOLS. i had an extremely good laugh ystd. He made the entire thing sound utterly pathetic.

yah. there's how sad it is. my edusave i mean. so i've to pay by cash and transit till i throw up. i'm starting to dislike air flights and to think i've to take like 6 flights (yes, i counted take off and landing as 1 individual separate flight)

the thought of my stomach churning during those horrible transits jus make me wanna throw up now.

ok. i shall sleep and pray tt tomorrow (today to be exact) would be a happy day.

i've turned officially purplish-green.

morning started off pretty mortifyin cos' i was so indignant about my poetry grades. i just cant stop when i start rambling and thus, my heart goes out to those who were with me actually. and so i started complaining non-stop.

i'm so angry it's like becos' of POETRY that killed me totally. i'm sooooooo angry. like terrible terrible thing since it's the last component i did and i was so drained after completing the other 2 and argggghhhh. i essentially screw it up.

set texts were surprisingly alright. but i'm expecting a little more. urgh. comments were like you started off alright but deviate later.

crap. utter crap.

and i'm still feeling bloody unwell. shit. if not for tons of stuff that gotta to be done tomorrow, i would have jus taken some time off to rest. screw it. maybe i should jus rest tmr. depends.

.

shall blog a quick post before i gotta start rushing.

we all need breaks. but as we are taking that little break, guilt jus start creeping into you. i never knew myself as a sit-down-for-12-hours-a-day-mugging-till-you-drop-dead sort. or should i say i couldnt.

and yes, i'm at a very great disadvantage like that. screwwwww it.



time stops. the surrounding air move a little before stagnating.
breathe in that bit of air. stop. time seemed to pass a little for a moment then.
turn to the right a little, realising that everything seemed to be still moving actually.
turn to the left then, realising that all along, it's only me who think time has stopped.

the world is still revolving; it didn't and wouldn't stop for me.

zai-ness

it's 1st october alr! this friday will officially mark the day where countdown to 1st paper starts. exactly a month more.

scary. so scary. well scary or not is something we still gotta face, like it a not.

and these past few days were absolutely funny days. especially ystd in the evening. i like it when we chill out at somewhere and start to talk rubbish. we always talk rubbish i think. haha. today was worse. and we started to dig out everyone's secrets, while playing our favourite game. hahahahahahaha.

i love them, absolutely.

but my recent pet phrase was 'wah piang you all damn mean leh' it's so me i know. hahahaha. well you jus have to adopt that when everyone jus stare and shoot you. especially that stupid question.

*censored* (it's darn retarded actually)

PIANG. what kinda question? jus in case low's reading this, it's that 1st question posed. and 3 pairs of eyes stared at me like chao intimidating can? ignore ignore. :D

and i could travel home with min once again. it's good i guess. we missed those days when we will wait at the bus stop together. plus whenever i see my bus pass, (from afar) i will be whining away and min would jus give me this mortified look. on contrary to now, i'd rather the bus run away for like 10 times then have to wait for that zoo bus that takes gazillion years to come. well it's those good old days.

ok. back to my sytycd. WAHAHAHA. luckily there's a repeat telecast of my fav RTV during saturday nights. absolutely brillant :D and i'm so into hip-hop now. i like it hard but not krump of cos'. krump is jus too woah. i still love the waltz and lyrical jazz. :D

tmr's hols. and that's good! it's 1am soon and yes, back to my show.

sometimes you jus wanna hide in one corner and not appear call it escapism but probe deeper is it jus a temporary need to free oneself from all this misery or is it something really serious i dun know actually all i know that i'm using enjambment.

in the wrong way though. :D

and i can barely understand rj prelims for h1. poetry is so mortifying like blam. a sheer narration of someone's life of somesort and ask you to annotate. the rest were worse. don't mention it. decision to skip mock paper was kinda right. spent 3 hours stoning when you didnt much prepare.

more to come. 3 more hours of torture. 3 hours of poetry. can you imagine it?

plus 3 hours of maths. 3 hours of gp. 3 hours of this and 3 hours of that. and still call it a truncated timetable.

let's survive this thing, alright?

screw it screw it.

unscrew it unscrew it.

too fast. too soon. too unprepared. slam your face into the wall and perhaps, you'd feel better.

so i figure out that it was pain that i felt. nothing else but this sharp distinct pain. annoyed. pissed. retarded.

wasted life.

.

chemistry

i was thinking recently about this. if i were a chemistry compound, what on earth would i be.

hydrocarbon. alkane in particular. an alkane which is infinitely long.

saturated. that's what i'm now. absolutely brain dead. and can barely undergo any reaction.

so please, make me an alkene. remove those darn hydrogen and make me reactive pls? undergo whatever reaction is none of my concern but i jus wanna be unsaturated.

my brain jus needs a little breathing space. yes, absolutely in need of it.

Autumn

gail's work. i feel so inspired. it's really pretty. the title is all that i thought up. LOL.

Autumn
She often sat beneath the bridge
On the bed of leaves of fall
Crimson sky and pale red leaves
October scent swift and strong.
the fragile reeds in her palm
Blew and circled in the wind
what fun, they seemed to sing.
Then, the grey frost
came its silent way
Like a mower
turning red to grey.
Even the flowers
But the distant cold, was nothing
Compared to the hollow in their empty souls.

But daybreak beckons
there is something in the distance.
Hear the echo of the night
And soon, there will be some light.

gosh. and i think i'd blew up my phone bill for the month.

phone bills boom. msg boom. so i hope i won't get grounded for the next month. i should just control a little for the next coming 2 weeks before sept ends.

throw that phone away. as quoted from tan huili :D

throw throw throw!

i'm nuts. still feeling red. arghhhhhhhh

i love them i love them i love them.

do crazy stuff do crazy stuff do crazy stuff.

but i would prefer it if they all don't gang up against me. or should i say only gin is nice. YAY :D yah. thanks to them for looking at the yearbook and laughing their heads off when pointed to XX. walao like laugh so damn loud can. it took me around a minute to realise what on earth they were laughing at.

shees. i'm getting retarded.

wheeeeeeesssssssssssss.

Home.School.

home. school. home. school. home. school.

these 2 days have been pretty much stagnant, just receiving those horrendous grades and praying your hearts out that the grades would be alright. but i should be trying to enjoy every bit more of school life cos' it's coming to an end soon.

10 October.

pretty scary how time grabs you by the hand and make a dash before you can even protest. very soon it would be farewell assembly and very soon it would be a levels soon and very soon, results back and very soon .. it's been pretty overwhelming actually.

think about the good stuff. the happy meal from ah kai and the sweet bracelet from min. ah kai's really good at sewing and i shall pick up the techniques from her some day. haha. min's turning 18 soon. whees. absolute vodka 40% muahaha. peach flavour pls.

well, in any case, both were really pretty :D and they are loved.

lessons are just about going through all those papers and whatever. it's just a review of the questions i supposed, for most subjects. and we'd our guess-your-maths-marks game during maths lesson ystd. she showed us the breakdown of marks per question and well, it turned out pretty much to be a guessing game. she was nice to show us our actual grades today :D

and mr ang had headed back for reservice. hope that he'll be back by farewell assembly.

tons of horror came when i realised that next week would be bugged down by tons of different mock exams. including another 3 hours of torture next monday&wednesday for econs and lit respectively. my hands would prolly fall off soon with all that writing and not forgetting my eyes as well.

survive next week so shall we.

grab hold of me. don't let me fall. i implored you. a part of me screams out for your presence.
but all you did was to walk away. for a moment, i hate your guts.

i received theo's msg in the morn
and to my horror, her msg screamed out 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY RETARDED'
haha! that funny pig. she's totally living in a different time zone from me apparently to lag by so many days. and i ain't retarded omigosh that pig. HAHA.

hilarious thing.

and today was kinda good cos' at least i've started to pack my room. Pack it up so as to prepare for that final around of revision for A's. yup. things are starting to look better and i hope that it stays that way.

jiayou jiayou. gambatte gambatte.

lining says that this photo is retarded. really meh? HAHAHAHAHA.

and thank you low for saying that i'm a zhong ji mi ma loser QUEEN :D

AND for taking such a retarded photo of me. (:

i'm still reminiscing all those funny moments. must stop must stop.

well. i'd one of the more enlightening conversation(s) over the past few days this year.

there are reasons why we make mistakes. and there are reasons why things go so screwed up sometimes. horrible as they are, these exist so that we can be stronger as a person, to mature as we grow. well, we need to move on and mature, to be able to pick things up and too let it go as i would want it. and there is a need to step out of that barrier that i've put up for myself. open up. open up. yes. open up.

persistence? i need to be able to deal with it a little more.

fear? i needa move out of it. cos' it's biting me so hard that i can't move out of that little jar which has trapped me since i fell into it.

it hurts. of course it does. who says that living in memories dont? cos' those beautiful memories are jus so alluring that you wanna go back and reminisce every bit of it. but the truth is you can't.

we just gotta grow up i guess.



my side note: tons of rants. ohmytians, i'm like finally talking to yuan chang after ten thousand of years cos' he always the mr busy man. he described my change as short hair and braces like LOL. of course i've changed and i can't always be that little girl whom he saw me years back. well. it's good a change i believe. cos' change is the only constant in this world

i want good changes. not bad changes that make me sigh and whine at my pathetic life.

LIFE.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go; things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right; you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself; and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.

- Marilyn Monroe




i really like this quote. it so sums up what life is about. (:
acknowledgment: kope-d from some kind soul's website.
.

i love these. so omigod pretty. like some mini fireworks.

ghostly looking.

pretty pretty pretty sparklers! :D

low lining ain't inside. i should wait till she requests for her individual lantern photo to be up. i'll then post one lest she screams at me for putting her solo one up. (:

today's papers ended up pretty much in disaster.
like yah, my final paper was still such a horrendous one.
well, it doesn't deserve much mentioning anymore though.

FINALLY watched by 'becoming jane'. my eyeballs are prolly gonna fall off soon at the rate i'm watching all at one shot. it's real sad how jane austen never marry and how she lived her life alone. It's especially sad when all 6 of her novels always ended on a happy note. Anne Hathaway really played the role very well. and James McAvoy is really charming :D

those omigod grey-green eyes. they seemed to be speaking to you in one way or another.

it's a brillant movie i must say. Anne Hathaway really played the role of 'Jane Austen' brillantly. And 'First Impressions' is still a nicer name for the novel even though the main themes are really pride and prejudice, how someone is judged based on first impressions. i admit that i'm guilty of that, sometimes.

But ohhhhh. i really don't like how her life ended! ): it should have been much better.

today was a great day. too bad prelims ain't over yet. bahs.



3rd cake. it was good but i think i would have to boycott cakes soon.

well. not much studying was done so i need to compensate the amount back tomorrow. this's kinda bad though.

yah. the EPL fever actually. the last time i walked past the TV, arsenal won 1 vs the other team. the next time i was sitted at the balcony, i heard the guys screaming. not screaming actually but yes, the 'GOAL!' thing. the goal went to liverpool i think. well i ain't really an EPL fan but jus to make my post seemed longer, i shall jus attempt to type stuff that seems relevant. lol.

argh whatever. i'm feeling so tired. shall dream of more chemistry. bahs.

she only wanna think of things that will make her happy.
and she will.
and she still loves zhong ji mi ma, though she's a big loser at it.

i love them i love them i love all of them. (:

sleep time.

FANG IS HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! x)

well. i did the most childish thing that could be done and that was to refute my point back in public space initially.

afterwards i changed my mind. he's quite right bout how i would delete it. but the cause for doing so is no longer the same, compared to the first time where i specifically deleted his. but there really ain't much need now to clarify any longer.

well, time to become more mature and more gracious. arguing my way out would only aggravate things more than it should. and so i've learnt to abstain from rebuking.

maths paper 2 tomorrow. key factor is to survive this 3 hours.

good day ahead for tmr!

Purely nonchalent.

or just merely pretending to be?

i could barely decipher this any longer.

.

and so i survived today.

absolutely brillant.

i can jus imagine this humongous question mark over my head during that 3 hours, squashing my puny brain so as to generate whatever that can be written down into my essay.

3 hours. I swear that i could have just died.

Poetry is surprisingly easy compared to those past ones whereby I usually spent a good 5 to 10 minutes merely choosing. This's so retarded honestly. But well, this's the first whereby 1 minute was all that it takes to settle the selection process.

Bottomline is to feel happy cos' i've at least survived it. Yes i pretty much did and tons of luck to the history people. they must have been scribbling their lungs out by now.


we all have this little angels and devils in us. wonder so at times who has the last laugh actually. let's just laugh at our wretched lives and move on.

c'mon. let's survive tmr.

so i was watching the 2005 P&P. it was really heavily 'subsidised' if you get what i mean. It's shortened to a mighty great extent and the scenes jus popped out like nowhere.

But i love the cast. So it was still a nice show actually.

Was watching half of it ystd when I should have been studying econs but oh gosh. You just can't really much resist a good show. :D And i found my 'becoming jane'. Saw the trailer and it was really good. Wanted to watch it at the movies but argh, missed the chance. Anne Hathaway is really pretty. So is Keira Knightly.

And Mr Collins is really so funny. So I jus gathered from that scene a point whereby if you think you're gonna sound unintelligent, well then don't speak. It just make you seem so foolish and funny. So it was a real good laugh at how he proposed to Lizzie. But the book still has a better plot actually; it covers more in detail.

And mr liang is nice cos' he sent me the song that i wanted by yiruma. Well just in case he's reading this, i've quite mastered the song actually. (: And if favours are answered by posting on this blog, well i shall request for a black ferrari then. (:

i change my mind, a red one will be nicer.

yay. i shall dream of darcy.

RIGHT. goodbye. pray that i survive.

if you have scores "destiny of love" by yiruma, kindly send it to me. thank you!

.

One killer Chemistry paper 3 + 2 hours of straight torture

-------------------------> One screwed up cuifang.

catalyst added: tons of vulgarities.

well. I ain't really scolding cos' was busy trying to squeeze chem facts out but yah, failed. And I did the wrong question thinking that it was my saving grace but well, it wasnt. SHD HAVE DONE THAT STUPID NITROGEN CPD QUESTION.

Ok. I need to shut my gap. Go look at maths and hopefully, don't drown tomorrow while swimming for my life to pass maths.

lousy imagery. I don't really care. Shall worry on wednesday then for thurs paper. Gail and I will pray for our dear lives then i suppose.

PART 1: MSN CONVERSATION.

Red: Low
Purple: Me
It's supposed to be entertainment which low is desperately objecting me from posting it but it's jus hilarious.
We're all screw very loose. BAHS.

when i first heard it i caught it ok?
so i'm not tt slow.
haha
i really thought what stupid compound was that
hahahahaha.
really can
didnt you
didnt me what?
thought that was syupid compound was that
HAHA
LOL.
NO.
i understand it IMMEDIATELY
cos it was like no such cpd.
bahahahaha.
AHHA
are you sure?
someone just siad that she was abit slow in getting that
well.
in other stuff.
like eg. hor. friend in nj. prelims got 20. so o level got 6 pointswhen he told his mum he got 6 his mum asked what subject, get it?
well. it took me like 10 mins to understand.
not tt long la.
HAHA
so funny
but ong was laughing and saying tt i'm slow.
haha
like which subject got c6 lah
HAIYOH

PART 2
omigod.
you're nuts.
you want IMH contacts
haha. you mean for yourself?
i have alr.
so wondering whether you need ma.
haha
serious arh
nah
we can go together.
i dont need
or maybe i need it to register for my friend
buy 1 get 1 free.
HAHA
i can bring you along.
you think what
hotel bedrooms arh
LOL.
buy 1 get 1 free
i think you need it more than i do can
where got bedrooms buy 1 get 1 free.
more like you buy fruits right.
omigod.
this's darn spastic.
so funny.
buy vegs!
gosh. how come i can even think of buy 1 get 1 free.
i got membership
save more money.
go la.
you need it badly also.
i need company too.
haha
no?
crazy people do not need accompany
NOOOOO
need.
i insist

and i just told low online.

i shall live on my books.
Breathe in Econs, eat Chemistry, drink Maths.

I found it funny. Don't even know how i managed to come up with such thwarted stuff. I'm jus plain nuts.

And Lining said that I left out Literature. Ok. It's true to think bout it but well, there's no more room for Lit in that slogan. That sounds like the have more babies campaign slogan.

spastic.

I was just reading a friend's blog which is so very funny. Low can so understand how hilarious it is, especially the emphasis on tasks can only be accomplished 'after the a levels'

hilarious. so hilarious.

well. it's really THE GOSPEL TRUTH that all JC students are all muggers lest you are the odd one out and just wanna waste your time and your life actually.

Yah. My 18th birthday is gonna be spent staring at Maths hoping that for once, I can score a distinction.

AND PLEASE NOTE I'M NOT OLD, YET. I HAVE NOT reached 18 so low and the rest cannot say that I'm old okay?

well. JC life is horrendous.
horrendous. so so horrendous.

So it's pretty right to say that JC life is a terrible period. Period.

And I was watching 'America's got talent' last night. And I saw that 2 bravo violinists and I told my mum I wanna and should have learn violin instead of those black white keys. *roll eyes*

Ok. I shall stop being so degrading lest the piano guru theodora fung whack me up.

And so my mum stared at me and went 'you wanna learn everything'

But violin is so nice. I love the sound. But it's so tough to learn and I think I'm too old for that.
so hold it. turn back time. I wanna learn the violin.

so i shall stop blabbering nonsense and aim to wake up in time and rush down to the library.
And to not disappoint ms gail, i shall continue to love mr darcy.

those were the days, the campus 1 and 2, running about, slamming the council door, see-ing late comers do star jump, finding that badge every morn.

those days ended.

but memories stay.

And yes, saw theodora fung today which was so omigod. She still looks the same. (:

No change. Still as annoying. Still as funny. Yes. Cows drink grass. And that piano guru got a MERIT for her grade 8. screams. i'm gonna faint. goodbye.

1st look and i thought that it was all that i've been looking for.
2nd look and i knew that it was all what i hadn't really expect things to be.
so it's time to say goodbye.

.

2 observations

1st observation: people who have the same birth date are starkly different.

same birth date = same year as well.
different in terms of character. BIG difference.

2nd observation: if there are 2 sisters in the family, perhaps with another brother/sister or whatever, the elder one would be more defiant.

i have cross-refered to many sources so this should be pretty accurate i feel.

(:

last day of the month

August past very quickly and today's the last day of the month. frightening i must say.

tomorrow marks the start of september.

August has been a busy month. Start of prelims, start of truncated time table, and start of a whole new nightmare. But there are indeed some memorable days in august i must admit, including the 16 days of Olympics, gatherings, movie-ing. Other than that, every day is pretty much a struggle to endure through.

So I managed to catch 'The Banishment' which was an omigod abstract art firm. So abstract that I was much lost half way and i started to seek help to decipher the contents. It was real slow and abstract that I almost fall asleep. There's a reason why the movie was 2 and 1/2 hours long. It was real slow with minimal dialogues and super slow actions.

And I like the russian language though i can barely comprehend it actually. it was reading the subtitles but it's still nice listening to what the characters had to say. But the entire movie had a twist of plot and so it pretty much was a shock when the ending was shown. Available at picturehouse only.

.

omigod she has a degree in music. omigod she got her degree in london. omigod she knows both piano and violin. omigod i'm so much in shock that i wanna faint. omigod i also wanna go london. omigod i shall stop omigod-ing and continue chanting the mantra.

eat. sleep. mug econs.

goodnight.

judgemental

.

our self-perceived beauty.
it's so scary how some things that appears to be beautiful ain't really so.
but it's inherent in us to judge at first sight.
to form first impressions that may not at all hold true.
to judge base on what our senses perceive things to be.
we fail to comprehend the deeper meaning of people's actions.
we fail to look deeper within us.

we are so unfortunate to be blinded by what seemed to be the truth, but are instead mere lies.

.

Boey's eyes were totally fixated onto the TV screen and it's horrendously hard to get her attention when she enters the TV age. So horrifying. Haha. I can totally imagine her screaming at me from afar in school if she ever reads this post.

Like who can miss her significant 'FANGGGGGGGG' in school.

So scary. The rest don't even call me as loudly as she does.


Mum told me how we won't be going abroad with my cousins this year. Extreme sadness cos' I kinda enjoyed our trip together last year. It was just so omigod funny. So it's vietnam for them after A's and for me, we've yet to decide. But I'll be returning together with Ong number 2nd when she returns from her taiwan immersion programme and when I return from thailand. We can so omigod meet at the airport after her 18 days and after my 15 days. it's really a coincidence though.


Brain talks to heart. Heart is just a stubborn little thing which ignores brain. And now heart walks into the wall and gets hurt becos' of his stupidity. Time is the almighty that would attempt to heal Heart. Brain is now sniggering at the side, watching the fun.

my 10 minutes of ordeal

somehow or rather, my legs took me to the un-usual mayflower primary bus stop instead of the usual one that i usually go. ok. this sentence sounds grammatically weird but i don't really care. back to where i was saying.

it was around 1pm. the time was indeed significant cos' it meant that all the primary school students would have ended school and would have flooded the bus stop, as a matter of fact. so it started off with only 5-6 students. so i waited for what seemed to take forever to come and yes, only then did i realise that the zoo bus might have just left and i would be stuck there feeling so miserable for the next 10-15 minutes.

so back to the kids. more and more came. some played catching, some merely stoning, some flashing their omigod-even-more-zai-than-mine handphones. and they looked barely 10 years old for pete's sake. yes, N72. i saw this kid who's barely reaching my elbow holding this phone, standing so near me that he was on the verge of flanking it into my face.

p.s there's no such thing as flanking; i just coin it up on my own

ok. that was still tolerable. till there was this p school kid who was muttering vulgarities so softly that the whole world could hear it. yes, you ain't reading this wrongly; it's supposed to be a paradox. as least he was speaking in a volume loud enough for me to hear and be pissed off so yes, i was terribly irritated. so my 10 to 15 minutes ordeal was a pretty horrendous one. yes, it ain't an 'ordeal' for nothing and then the slow poke bus came, alleviating me of my misery in the least. Argh. How i wish it was 169 instead that i was waiting for. At least i won't have to look like an utter pathetic soul waiting for a bus that take eons to reach.

And yesterday was kinda funny cos' my dad wanted to watch usain bolt run the 200m. Waiting and waiting so was he and so I casually said that it might have been over and I would give him 100 bucks if it hasnt. (note:time was 10.15pm already ok.)

NO. as a matter of fact, the race was at 10.45pm like OMIGOD. So late can and it was like the last event and so yes, bolt ran, was 1st and broke the world record.

wow. thank you very much. it certainly just entertained me when he was 'performing' in front of the camera to celebrate his victory.

and back to my books.

tomorrow will be french and the day after korean. OMIGOD. fireworks! (: (:
in the case you don't read the papers, it's on the22nd and 23rd August. 9pm. City Hall/Marina Square.

oh my tians.

Was just studying the other day and this random thought popped up my mind.
Prelims will be my first 3 hours arts paper ever taken.
And A levels will be ironically, my last.
I've NEVER sat for a 3 hours straight arts paper in my life you know; econs don't even take up 3 hours for pete's sake.

3 Hours = 3 Essays = Potato, Spaghetti, Coleslaw.

It's just an internal joke that we made up during h1 lessons. It kinda died off but I still find it funny how the western stall auntie can just chant it every day to every student who didnt specifically tell her what side orders they want.

So weird.

My first 3 hours paper. Hope I survive.

those little little sweet things in life.

significant.

but why do we always take it for granted?

maybe it's just inherent in our nature.

unless you lose it, it won't even seem to be important at all.

.

Hope.
Faith.
It's these that keep us going.

Long tiring day it has been. I'm looking forward to the arrival of friday.

Dinner. Meet ups. But of course not looking forward to having to dash home from the bus stop. I can't really imagine how terrible it is.

So Olympics has been the hot topic around recently. The amazing thing about it is that you will never be able to tell who's gonna claim that gold medal somehow; one who was leading intially doesn't mean that he'll secure his medal eventually. It leads to the anxiety and excitment you may feel for the competitors out there. And today was a funny day cos' majority in the canteen had their eyes glued to the TV and we were all watching the Olympics. And yes, don't forget to include the cheers they had when Phelps won.

Gosh. He secured his 4th gold already.

And Mr Ang told us about the recent issue on how the fireworks are claimed to be fake. It was like you serious?! Argh. It would be so saddening if it is really photoshopped but I don't think it is so. Why in the world will they risk their reputation of holding the Olympics and spend so much just for others to call them a hoax? It's $40 billion for pete's sake.

Argh. Just back to how the Games came at the wrong time. Must control. control. control. Must study. study. study. Reality strikes in 2 weeks' time.

小王子感叹世界变了。

活在梦境比活在现实中好许多。

因为现实中太黑暗，太恐怖了。

相比之下，在有如天堂般的世界里

只充满着爱和关怀，充满着无比的快乐。

--------

i love 31/07

ok. this's truly from my heart. yesterday's episode just so reveal what team/class spirit is all about. truly.

from all the start of peer tutoring till the end of the entire movie session, i got to see another side of the cranky crazy 31/07. different people with diverse characters but somehow or rather, we can just come together to form a bond so close to my heart. it will be great to be able to hold this spirit till JC life ends.

i think it will be kinda sad being the only one not attending d&d. but it could not be helped cos' some things just gotta give. i've learnt eons again that it is never possible to have the best of both worlds, so it's a pity that d&d is the one that i've got to give up. call it opportunity cost.

so it's back on how i hope the 31/07 spirit will hold, will stay and will last till after A's. it's only now that i know it is this class that constitute so much of my jc life that it completes it.

"you sound sad".

it caught my attention in her sms.

i didn't know what to make out of it, but it was really appreciated. close friends are still all that matter.




不想讲话，不愿讲话，因为没有必要开口。



这几天有一种很相望去看海的心情，但时间并不允许这一些。-

BURDEN

scream meter: 99%



trigger that 1% more...




and i should just close this blog down. it seems meaningless. don't say it's lame even though that yes, i agree that i've just started this blog not too long ago. it's my prerogative.

-

the issue about man and their ambitions.

you fought, strived, worked so very hard.
one goal was all that stand in front of you.
your dreams, inspirations, hopes.
reaching out to you.

reached out or clashed in front of you.
stand still, behold the truth.
that's manipulation by fate
either working against or working towards

embrace lies, truth or are there even grey areas to begin with.
where do you stand, hold your faith, keep your grace.
clashed. don't waver, don't ponder.
look straight, don't falter don't hesitate.

just keep walking. we'll get there somehow.

.

superhero.
i ain't so.
limit.
there's a maximum to what i can handle.
don't push it. i may explode.

and it's been getting harder and harder for me to manage. i've no idea how to deal with it alone. no idea.

dilemma.

i'm trapped in this circle. stuck.

.

i've been trying to tally my brain with my heart

tally my words with my actions.

tally my soul with my body.

misplaced.

misplaced trust. misplaced lies. misplaced words. misplaced soul.

will you die from consuming too many panadol?
i asked myself several times already.
no i do not wanna go 6 feet under the ground so fast even though i've been popping pills like nuts.

whatever.

i shall try to make time for something exciting. catch a movie, watch fireworks, pool marathon and just basically get a life. i shall try to better my skills so that i can thrash mugger mok (: WHEES.

ok. That's a lie cos' i've been saying since the start of last year and wells, all i've been doing is to fantasize winning him.

whatever. yes fang you need to get a life. goodbye.

and sophie kept calling me fangy which is horribly gross. see. min, gin and the rest so cooperative but she just wanna add something weird at the back. boycott boey. whees. (:

Walking

you kept walking.

hoping to find an answer to this mystery.

hoping to get out of this misery.

walked right through that door.

walked right into the wall.

delusional.

the futility of searching for answers.

answers that answer to nothing at all.

struggle.

struggle to break out of it all.

cried.

cried so that you could walk out of it all

silence.

silent cos' you cried without a sound.

pain.

cos' crying silently is what that hurt the most.

.

gosh. i hate stereotypes, honestly.

Taking E.lit doesn't make me extra powerful in english. it just make me feel that i can see people a little way more deeper, rather than on the surface. Ok. So don't give me that reason that since you take E.lit, your ang moh/GP must be zai; i think that's utter nonsense.

Maybe GENERALLY it's true, whatever the case, it's the opposite for me.

Just feeling stoned. Still feeling stoned.

And I so coincidentally get to meet Michelle and Ong on zoo bus on wednesday. So happy to get to see Ong cos' I've not seen her for like soooo long. We'll be meeting tomorrow though. HAHAHA.

So yesterday was also the day 3107 decided on the everything associated with class birthday. 24 donuts aka 2 dozen donuts. Wish me good luck. I think my mum would absolutely save me from the poor fate of having to bring all my purchases back on my own. (:

And yes, perhaps looking at all the donuts bought would have me boycott donuts for the rest of my life. Perhaps.

So back to work. Donuts. Donuts. Chocolate Donuts.

i feel like downing something strong. breezer ain't but whatever, just something that makes me konk up right into bed.

tiring nightmarish week.

goodbye to that. and hello to those which are more to come.

Insanity

that 'put money into thy purse' kept ringing into my mind. nuts. like what the hell? Dreaming of the Moor every single moment is not going to keep me from feeling better these days.

So i've been feeling increasingly retarded these days. As in not metaphorically but LITERALLY. Really. Argh.

Especially today. Felt that I could have just wanna jump into that big drain near my school. Really just jump in and don't come out. So OMIGOD embarrassing. I won't throw my own face by telling you the stupidity i showed.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIN + MANDA! (:


So many things have been going through my mind. So many flashing images that seemed to ring a bell but poof, gone in a while. Screaming out to me, this very little soul in me wondering, pondering, wishing when it's time to be free. Screams. screams. Get out of that door. Wondering where I'm heading. Wondering where I come from.

Holding on

Career fair today revealed that side of me that i inspire and wanna attain. Especially the one on law and banking. The conviction in her words, that success attained. It's that sad though to have to admit that that piece of paper qualifications still matter more than anything else in this society.

Fine. Skip that shitty part of this blog entry. Including that talk which Ms Leong gave ystd. Reality seemed so real outta a sudden. Whatever. Hate it. Hate it so uber much.

Still hooked to SYTYCD. Maybe someone can just hack into youtube and remove it so i will stop watching.

Dancing by Elisa + You and Me by Lifehouse = da bomb. (:

Life

Today was a day which absolutely flew away with nothing accomplished, unless you considered the completion of SGC to be one.

Ok. I feel like blogging in the chinese but the laptop doesn't have the software. Jus like how I'm SUPPOSED to get that terrible econs mindmap done but i'm instead blogging here. absolutely WOW brillant, ain't it.

So I went back to the yet-so-familiar place once again today- Kallang Water Sports Centre. Walked past that frightening narrow walkway again which I so fear of dropping right into that disgusting Kallang water AFTER i've showered.
So everything was still like it is when i went there. I guess it's only us changing afterall, nothing else. And managed to saw Mr Gan. HAHA. Pig him was like finding fault as usual. Whatever la. But seriously, i missed my juniors! Ali, Fung Lai Min and Eddie Gan.

A lot of stuff went past my mind as we were rowing. It was this usual wishing on my part to wanna reminisce the past by going for db-ing but it was futile. A lot of things felt different even though as we were having FOC 'viking' which was so fun, as stored in my memory bank initially; it's making me so utterly sick of it.

So I'm looking forward to a great meal with all of my dearest ppl. Very Looking forward to.

omigod. leong yiyao deserves a smack from me for calling me 'banana'. He was insulting me saying that i am totally a banana when i started to say that he's so ang moh and he insisted that he speaks perfect chinese which i certainly won't and don't buy in.

But really meh. Wasai. Being branded as a banana is so hurting. ):

No right. CO friends can prove that i am totally a chinese chinese and not some stupid banana.

SADDDDDDDD

and wef today, i shall go on a diet and stop talking so much. Any queries on my weird behavoir, please direct all questions to my manager dentist.

SGC

screams at this 3 letters.
it's due this saturday, with endorsement and everything and yes, so what the hell.

ARGH. sucks.

forget it. stop whining. i've been whining so much, complaining so much that i think people's eardrums are threatening to burst at the rate i'm complaining. seriously, i mean it. and last friday was another whiny session that i was so closed to being slaughtered by lining and gin for once again, whining.

It was a terrible week yet again. Nothing good has compensated this misery that i'm feeling. Ok. So everything here is the opposite of positive so if you feel as sad as i'm, don't read it for you'd feel worse.

A couple of days have been fantasizing the impossibles such as doing the weirdest thing ever. Like today when i saw this little girl eating fries on board the bus, I was just so tempted to grab it from her and eat it. Apparently, the craving for fries were just too hard to resist. But of course, a sane part of me tell me otherwise to yes, keep sane.

Ok. I need to shut my gap up and start worrying about everything that needs worrying. And hopefully enjoy my db trip on saturday and an omigod feast next sunday. Could well destress a little, as i sincerely pray.

Keep sane people. And hang in there.

.

I don't like this feeling of having to compete with time.
Cos I know I'll lose, lose real badly.

Ok. We're all nothing but puppets being manipulated by solely, life.
Puppets who follow the footsteps of how life is created for us.


Oh wells. So it is decided that we all decide to not go for the MFCO gathering on friday. So little people from my batch is going and made it all the more meaningless even if I were to attend. Could imagine myself gorging down whatever that's available instead of participating in the conversation, even if there is gonna be any.

So the pretty long hols was spent sorting out my thoughts, sorting out my emotions, sorting out anything that can and should be sorted out. Pretty much to sum up: I just spent my weekends decomposing at home. And Mr Gan just has this thing in him that's so motivating. I reckon that he should just aim to be a inspirational figure going around to institutions to give motivating talks.

ok. that's lame. whatever. But it was good. At least I got back to focus on my priorities.

For now.

.

Argh. it's back to work.

Baroque/Classical/Romantic/Homophonic/Polyphonic. And Whatever.
This sucks. I'm so not coping. Everything sucks.

.

bored.

get a life.
get a break.
have a kit kat.

This's spastic. Whatever. Just went cycling and I thought I was the only nutcase who will be doing such a lame activity at this late hour. And guess what? Someone else is jogging at this late hour.

Time reads: 10.30PM for your info.

Will never forget how horrifying it is when Mr Gan Bao Sheng was mean enough to say that me and sophie put on weight when come on, all we did was to mug solely during the hols. Argh. This's so pissing me off. Feel like taking up more water sports though I'm so uber broke now. Maybe I shall just learn to be content and just stick to land sports.

ARGHHH.

But I'm sooo tempted to take up water skiing/wind surfing after the A's.

Forget it. Provided that I survive this through. This A's levels that are so close to robbing me of my dear life.

Yes. I exaggerated but you get my point? It's just so utterly annoying.

And a day at home doing nothing but walk about the house did not make me feel at all less miserable about my mid years. Oh well. I just need to get a life.

.

pain

leona lewis' bleeding love is da bomb.
Her vocals is outta the world.
Her Music Video is utterly awesome.
So You Think You Can Dance Season 3/4 is da bomb.
Exams' results are so not da bomb.
It's worse than the atomic bomb that landed on Japan, seriously.

And this week is so mighty oh-how tiring. Had to reach at around 6.45am which is totally not-like-me but there ain't much choice anyway. Initial plan on tuesday was to reach school, find a small dark corner and sleep till 7.20am. Failed cos' everyone stresses you out when they're at the canteen studying/doing work. Doing something that has nothing associated with the word slacking.

Argh. And I'm so irritated with everything regarding mid-years. Misreading of poetry/Misintepretation of essay question/Irrelevance of paragraph.
Barely Pass. But it was consoling to have friends motivating you all the way. It's really important to me.

And kudos and credits to this DE j1 who was nice to pass me the scores for 'when the love falls' by yiruma. Nice him gave me 4 scores though I just asked for one. LOL. (: HAPPY.

WHEN THE LOVE FALLS (:




Argh. Whatever. I'm just feeling so pissed and annoyed. Gimme a Break seriously. Maybe I'll just sleep the whole thing off and perhaps, feel better.

Tsk. This's bad.

Yes. My twisted neck is still, aching.

I could barely turn my head to the right ystd. As i woke up this morn, horrors to horror, I managed to be able to turn right but not left. Tsk to retardedness.

Spent my morning trying to download overture. Thank you very much for it crashed on me countless of time. This's getting so irritating and in the end, it was like a waste of my time and effort; couldn't download anything AT ALL.

Enough of my crap and whines and it's back to stats. Ur huh?

the LOVABLE stats.

Oh yes. before i forget,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MS JOANNY NG WEN YI. (:

Cheers to our 9th year of friendship. BAWAHAHAHA.

.

Finally. Finally almost the end of mid years already.

Today was the 2nd last paper for mid-years. Chemistry. Sitting down there for 3 hours was just, hell. It just ain't my day today. It was bad enough having a twisted, sprained neck. Seriously. So bad till it was aching throughout the entire 3 hours.

HELL of a paper. Must think and must endure the pain. So tsk.

But it has finally ended. And I don't wanna go think about the rest of the subjects that had already past. Pointless anyway.

So school will be 'officially' reopening next week. More stuff to deal with and more stuff coming up. Fund-raising event should be kinda interesting bah. (:

Hola!

For starters,

Alina Goh Yu Rui has been spamming my tagboard for no rhyme or reason.

Ok. Can we go back to that camp night? I wanna reminisce every bit of it again. Or should I say, the CO camp 3 years back.

Yes, the food sucks. It ain't as nice as the BUFFET that they got this year but at least i bet everyone had fun in the night alright? Endless dai-di, endless gossips, endless badminton.

Give me a transport system and time machine now pls? Will be greatly appreciated.

WISHES

i'd wish for more time so it would not have end so quickly.
i'd wish for more breathing space.

and i'd wish for less podcasts cos' teachers' voices are putting me to sleep.
and i'd wish for the ability to not turn red so easily.

BLAH BLAHS

I feel fat
Cycling around for 10 rounds make me feel not at all less un-fat.

THE VICIOUS CYCLE OF FEELING FAT

Of course, after you eat, you just sit down and study like some morbid weirdo.
After mugging, you'd stand up for meals.
Then it's back to the vicious cycle of feeling fat cos' you'd return back to your books.

THAT SAD.

Back to how I had yet to touch my H1 subject. That green small book is just stuck somewhere, yearning to see sunlight yet again. Oh no no, I don't mean that P&P is un-nice but to SERIOUSLY study about it and answer an essay long question is just so turning me off.

Every single thing is turning me off. Just pray that tomorrow's camp will be perfect then the least is that there's something to yearn for.

YAY. i'm so looooking foward to tomorrow. Like finally, finally we can have some gathering of somesort.

Ok. I exaggerated that level of excitement. And I've to miss Spongebob tomorrow. I'm feeling kinda sad.

Goodbye.

It's kinda shocking to know how small the world is.
And how we are all so closely interconnected.

see. the work of globalisation.

Let's Pray.

Yes. i pray a million times that the sailing competition went well today.

And i pray that i can stop deviating from my books.

Pray with me. it'll be deeply appreciated.

Twelve Variations on "Ah, vous dirai-je, Maman"

This world is getting to be so weird.

Bus trip today was kinda odd cos' there were these 2 weird people.

No. I shalln't be mean to label them as weirdos, YET.

They were entertaining themselves by moving up and down the bus doing absolutely but tapping their ez-link cards. And so, it was nothing but pretty annoying beeping every 30s.

I mean it. Really. Every 30s the ez-link card scanner thing would just beep once. And they were just utter amused by it. I have no idea why.

What in the world is this? Oh wells. We are just surrounded by amusing things recently.

Yes. Just heard the online version of this song. Swear my jaws just almost dropped off. Fortunately it didnt.

Presenting to you:

Twelve Variations on "Ah, vous dirai-je, Maman" ("Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star")
By Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

WHATEVER. I'm just gonna faint now.

Byes.

CHEM

I tried doing the podcast thing.
I really did try.
But it screwed up cos' the teachers' voice were either

a) putting me to sleep.
b) speaking so fast that my pathetic brain can barely comprehend.

Conclusion: I shall try no further anymore today.

Time reads 12.20am. 9th June.

Goodnight.

Conformity

Conform.

Say hi to my newfound friend. His name's Conformity. Oh wells, i don't really welcome such nice guest here but I should just try my utmost best to accept his existence.

Oh wells. His existence ain't much favoured since he left my life a year back or so. Being cow-seller back in alma mater just absolutely taught me what conformity is all about.

Yes. Selling cows. Buy 2 get 1 free.

But life's been pretty much changing since you left secondary school, comfort zone as I would like to call it, you just have to adapt to changes. It's hard but oh well, we just have to survive it through even though you may hate it.

Nah. Now is back to the sick old routine of mugging and mugging.

Welcome to Mugger's life preparing for the mighty A's.

Thank you and Goodbye.