faith

.

when a part of me decides that it's time
time to let go of you gradually.
goodbye to your presence.
it's time to put an end to it.



.
sad story by loveholic.
that moment. that belief. that faith.

POST CNY

life's pretty boringggg.

let's try to make it a little more interesting.
everything is back to the slow mode, mundane life after the chinese new year break.

the cny period is pretty much exciting. older cousins trying to 'con' you of your mahjong money, trying my best to win in gambling, taking random photos at the park, trying to play frisbee in a dress, trying to prevent your dress from flying upwards, gorging yourself with steamboat/bbq. and having fun, trying to thrash shaun tan in pool but failed pretty miserably. (and oh shoots, kpool raised their prices and it's now so oh shoots expensive to play there alr!)

oh my i miss having fun la. and it's a wonder that my cousins are already pretty old. but it shouldnt be since i'm already reaching 20 so it's natural for my older cousins to be slightly older as well. it's just the number thing that i've not come into terms with on my own.

i will oh my shoots miss this period. and i've beeen vulgar these days. wtf kept coming into my mind.

nah. it's just what the fish. nothing very vulgar actually :D


GOTCHA.

releasing every bit of heat now. gosh. and i feel the fever coming. maybe i shall just knock out in a while.

dad's pretty right. when you have started working (or should i say when you've ended school), you don't exactly feeel the presence of CNY coming since there's no more of those CNY celebrations.

oh well. i shall look forward to win weijian's money during CNY since he has been trying to make us gamble with him whenever we meet. :D and i look forward to eating reunion dinner on saturday and sunday. i always thought that is the best part of CNY.

and meet-ups like that on monday and last saturday were really good. luckily there's xin with me or else i would freak out tons actually. and most of us have changed pretty much i guess. or maybe they didnt but it's just my eyes. hope more of such can come along

(i miss meeting up as 4some!) but definitely the venue of meetup should be a lot cheaper. and yes, i wanna see joan ng too. :D

toodles then.

korean hana yori dango really is nice. AKIRA AND DOMYOUJI! shuai and cute to the max.

CNY's coming. It doesnt really have that joyous feeling compared to previous years. Pretty weird though. Like what i've used to read in a magazine, it's all surfacing pretty much now.

the older you are, there would be lesser happy things. at the same time though, you would have lesser things to be sad about also.

it's pretty oxymoronic in a sense but maybe my bad english (phrasing also) just didnt manage to convey the true meaning of it. Oh well, i must say that i've pia through the japanese version of HANA YORI DANGO within a day. it's really superb. :D huishan recommended a nice show tho she mentioned that it's the korean version that's nice. Hanazawa Rui is really prince-charming material in the show. :D or maybe it's just the lightings and the angles that his shots were taken.

but still, crazy me pia through the drama serials like that would just leave my degree soaring upwards like the way oil prices did several months back. But still, i'm chionging Love Story at Harvard now. may i not be blind.



i choose to say
that i wanna stay.
and i choose to not run away.

secondhand serenade's songs are really really good. love it actually.

it has been a busy, mind boggling week i must say. many stuff happened and these probably might change my life quite a great deal i suppose.

all i want really badly now is to go ECP and sort things out again. sitting down till the sun sets and till the cold wind comes and threatens to blow you away. it would help tons i believe.





say that i'm resigned. say that i've changed. but does it really matter who i've become now to you cos' all along, i've been perceived in that ugly hideous way by you.

bella's lullaby ain't that nice actually. lol. it's still acceptable la i think. i think.
shall go jog now, jog till my legs drop off perhaps. hah. maybe shall try for 6 rounds. maybe.

i wonder why bach has always been pronounced as 'bark' with the k being silent
and why chopin has been pronounced as 'shopan' and not 'chopping'

weird. haha.




think deeper. i see everything in a clearer perspective. maybe uglier but in the very least, clearer.

really really like string instruments. cello, viola and even violin. the beauty of it all. a pity that i'm a little too old to pick it up. would love to play the violin actually. yes, this weird thought sparked out from nowhere cos' i just watch the trailer on youtube.

seems really really good.

omigod, i shall rush off to watch august rush now. the female lead is really really pretty and yes, the male lead is hot. maybe not hot but charming in the very least. blue eyes! hahaha. and i'm glad i've survived the whole of wireless data and all the weird stuff tied to it. somehow i conclude we really love keropok cos' we finished almost all of it that was in the pantry. super funny. it was full to the brim in the morn and by evening, only 1/8 of it was left.

p.s it was in those big big khong guan tins and not some pathetic little bottle sort ok.

and i'm speaking like donald duck now. the stupid metal thing is killing me. and i feel the urgent need to take them out, like now.

i realise that i could survive without you so i shall just let you go, bit by bit.

inspired by stephanie meyer's series, Eclipse.

it's weird how i'm staring at the computer screen, a part of me hoping that the sky will start collapsing and i will then stop staring.

and it's really weird also to be chatting online with a 14 year old thai kid who's really lucky to have computer and internet access (needless to say msn messenger) i don't think my kids would get a chance to talk to me online actually. was least expecting perhaps an email to say that everyone's fine but nah, that never came along.

that aside, it is finally weekends here. it's good to laze at home and wait for the sky to fall. i kinda miss that feeling actually. and for the past week, it has been mostly shuffling around, listening to those funny previous recordings and then back home.

so life's pretty stagnant and it's back to the life before jc even started. but definitely better than the last 2 years or should i be more specific, it's a lot better.

TGIT

i think i know what to buy with my borders gift card already.

breaking dawn! :D

cos' miss seedling don't have the last book and i'm like half way into my eclipse. i think i like the cover the most. and seaweed don't wanna play tennis with me on saturday. that makes me even more sad as a matter of fact. i think i'm craving for tennis really badly after playing wii the other time. BUT i really need the help of dearest seaweed to help me get my strokes right la!

and today was really really dry till the point that i switched off after lunch. All the technical jargons start flying out from all corners and i think i would have to stop dozing off tomorrow morn so as to absorb everything during the recap. Though it's boring, i think i would miss this training period after surviving it through it all.

TGIT! it makes my day totally thinking bout that.
THANK GOD IT'S THURSDAY. cheers a lot to that. i can finally take a breather from all this. and i've the sudden urge to start watching the jap version of hana kimi cos' it's really really funny.

maybe this's what it means to have grown up.

it's to stop looking back and move on.

no matter how hard it is.

.

AUSTRALIA

this is really bad. i'm not mentally prepared at all goodness gracious. and sundial dreams is really really difficult to play. 6 flats you know. maybe i'd manage better with 6 sharps but that ain't the point.

maybe it's time to reflect and to retreat back into my slimy hole. maybe i shalln't bother if you don't seem to bother as well.




and AUSTRALIA is really good. HUGH JACKMAN. screams pls. :D
his charm at the ball scene is really really funny that everyone was aww-ing. LOL.
Nicole Kidman is really really good; her azure blue eyes just do the speaking most of the time.
oh yes, the opening scene when jackman used her luggages to whack up this guy was really funny cos' every content in there flew out. but only me and the girls were laughing. the rest were just staring speechlessly.

once again. to hugh jackman! :D

and the omigodddd robert pattinson. and i've started eclipse already. they said that it's the nicest book out of the whole meyer's series. but it looks freaking thick.


P.S finally got hold of Ms Zhu's card. thank you to her! (: i'm proud to be part of the OCIP 2008 team thailand, very proud.

currently listening to Taylor Swift's love story. i really like the rhythm.



it's 2009. c'mon c'mon. a brand new year ahead.
and yes, i love my girls to bits. i love the chalet. and i love them all for their nonsense, crap and cam-whoring rubbish.
and they made me realise how time havent really at all wash away whatever i've always fear of losing. i'm really glad we're still like before or should i say, stronger than before.

they are truly loved.