zai-ness

it's 1st october alr! this friday will officially mark the day where countdown to 1st paper starts. exactly a month more.

scary. so scary. well scary or not is something we still gotta face, like it a not.

and these past few days were absolutely funny days. especially ystd in the evening. i like it when we chill out at somewhere and start to talk rubbish. we always talk rubbish i think. haha. today was worse. and we started to dig out everyone's secrets, while playing our favourite game. hahahahahahaha.

i love them, absolutely.

but my recent pet phrase was 'wah piang you all damn mean leh' it's so me i know. hahahaha. well you jus have to adopt that when everyone jus stare and shoot you. especially that stupid question.

*censored* (it's darn retarded actually)

PIANG. what kinda question? jus in case low's reading this, it's that 1st question posed. and 3 pairs of eyes stared at me like chao intimidating can? ignore ignore. :D

and i could travel home with min once again. it's good i guess. we missed those days when we will wait at the bus stop together. plus whenever i see my bus pass, (from afar) i will be whining away and min would jus give me this mortified look. on contrary to now, i'd rather the bus run away for like 10 times then have to wait for that zoo bus that takes gazillion years to come. well it's those good old days.

ok. back to my sytycd. WAHAHAHA. luckily there's a repeat telecast of my fav RTV during saturday nights. absolutely brillant :D and i'm so into hip-hop now. i like it hard but not krump of cos'. krump is jus too woah. i still love the waltz and lyrical jazz. :D

tmr's hols. and that's good! it's 1am soon and yes, back to my show.

sometimes you jus wanna hide in one corner and not appear call it escapism but probe deeper is it jus a temporary need to free oneself from all this misery or is it something really serious i dun know actually all i know that i'm using enjambment.

in the wrong way though. :D

and i can barely understand rj prelims for h1. poetry is so mortifying like blam. a sheer narration of someone's life of somesort and ask you to annotate. the rest were worse. don't mention it. decision to skip mock paper was kinda right. spent 3 hours stoning when you didnt much prepare.

more to come. 3 more hours of torture. 3 hours of poetry. can you imagine it?

plus 3 hours of maths. 3 hours of gp. 3 hours of this and 3 hours of that. and still call it a truncated timetable.

let's survive this thing, alright?

screw it screw it.

unscrew it unscrew it.

too fast. too soon. too unprepared. slam your face into the wall and perhaps, you'd feel better.

so i figure out that it was pain that i felt. nothing else but this sharp distinct pain. annoyed. pissed. retarded.

wasted life.

.

chemistry

i was thinking recently about this. if i were a chemistry compound, what on earth would i be.

hydrocarbon. alkane in particular. an alkane which is infinitely long.

saturated. that's what i'm now. absolutely brain dead. and can barely undergo any reaction.

so please, make me an alkene. remove those darn hydrogen and make me reactive pls? undergo whatever reaction is none of my concern but i jus wanna be unsaturated.

my brain jus needs a little breathing space. yes, absolutely in need of it.

Autumn

gail's work. i feel so inspired. it's really pretty. the title is all that i thought up. LOL.

Autumn
She often sat beneath the bridge
On the bed of leaves of fall
Crimson sky and pale red leaves
October scent swift and strong.
the fragile reeds in her palm
Blew and circled in the wind
what fun, they seemed to sing.
Then, the grey frost
came its silent way
Like a mower
turning red to grey.
Even the flowers
But the distant cold, was nothing
Compared to the hollow in their empty souls.

But daybreak beckons
there is something in the distance.
Hear the echo of the night
And soon, there will be some light.

gosh. and i think i'd blew up my phone bill for the month.

phone bills boom. msg boom. so i hope i won't get grounded for the next month. i should just control a little for the next coming 2 weeks before sept ends.

throw that phone away. as quoted from tan huili :D

throw throw throw!

i'm nuts. still feeling red. arghhhhhhhh

i love them i love them i love them.

do crazy stuff do crazy stuff do crazy stuff.

but i would prefer it if they all don't gang up against me. or should i say only gin is nice. YAY :D yah. thanks to them for looking at the yearbook and laughing their heads off when pointed to XX. walao like laugh so damn loud can. it took me around a minute to realise what on earth they were laughing at.

shees. i'm getting retarded.

wheeeeeeesssssssssssss.

Home.School.

home. school. home. school. home. school.

these 2 days have been pretty much stagnant, just receiving those horrendous grades and praying your hearts out that the grades would be alright. but i should be trying to enjoy every bit more of school life cos' it's coming to an end soon.

10 October.

pretty scary how time grabs you by the hand and make a dash before you can even protest. very soon it would be farewell assembly and very soon it would be a levels soon and very soon, results back and very soon .. it's been pretty overwhelming actually.

think about the good stuff. the happy meal from ah kai and the sweet bracelet from min. ah kai's really good at sewing and i shall pick up the techniques from her some day. haha. min's turning 18 soon. whees. absolute vodka 40% muahaha. peach flavour pls.

well, in any case, both were really pretty :D and they are loved.

lessons are just about going through all those papers and whatever. it's just a review of the questions i supposed, for most subjects. and we'd our guess-your-maths-marks game during maths lesson ystd. she showed us the breakdown of marks per question and well, it turned out pretty much to be a guessing game. she was nice to show us our actual grades today :D

and mr ang had headed back for reservice. hope that he'll be back by farewell assembly.

tons of horror came when i realised that next week would be bugged down by tons of different mock exams. including another 3 hours of torture next monday&wednesday for econs and lit respectively. my hands would prolly fall off soon with all that writing and not forgetting my eyes as well.

survive next week so shall we.

grab hold of me. don't let me fall. i implored you. a part of me screams out for your presence.
but all you did was to walk away. for a moment, i hate your guts.

i received theo's msg in the morn
and to my horror, her msg screamed out 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY RETARDED'
haha! that funny pig. she's totally living in a different time zone from me apparently to lag by so many days. and i ain't retarded omigosh that pig. HAHA.

hilarious thing.

and today was kinda good cos' at least i've started to pack my room. Pack it up so as to prepare for that final around of revision for A's. yup. things are starting to look better and i hope that it stays that way.

jiayou jiayou. gambatte gambatte.

lining says that this photo is retarded. really meh? HAHAHAHAHA.

and thank you low for saying that i'm a zhong ji mi ma loser QUEEN :D

AND for taking such a retarded photo of me. (:

i'm still reminiscing all those funny moments. must stop must stop.

well. i'd one of the more enlightening conversation(s) over the past few days this year.

there are reasons why we make mistakes. and there are reasons why things go so screwed up sometimes. horrible as they are, these exist so that we can be stronger as a person, to mature as we grow. well, we need to move on and mature, to be able to pick things up and too let it go as i would want it. and there is a need to step out of that barrier that i've put up for myself. open up. open up. yes. open up.

persistence? i need to be able to deal with it a little more.

fear? i needa move out of it. cos' it's biting me so hard that i can't move out of that little jar which has trapped me since i fell into it.

it hurts. of course it does. who says that living in memories dont? cos' those beautiful memories are jus so alluring that you wanna go back and reminisce every bit of it. but the truth is you can't.

we just gotta grow up i guess.



my side note: tons of rants. ohmytians, i'm like finally talking to yuan chang after ten thousand of years cos' he always the mr busy man. he described my change as short hair and braces like LOL. of course i've changed and i can't always be that little girl whom he saw me years back. well. it's good a change i believe. cos' change is the only constant in this world

i want good changes. not bad changes that make me sigh and whine at my pathetic life.

LIFE.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go; things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right; you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself; and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.

- Marilyn Monroe




i really like this quote. it so sums up what life is about. (:
acknowledgment: kope-d from some kind soul's website.
.

i love these. so omigod pretty. like some mini fireworks.

ghostly looking.

pretty pretty pretty sparklers! :D

low lining ain't inside. i should wait till she requests for her individual lantern photo to be up. i'll then post one lest she screams at me for putting her solo one up. (:

today's papers ended up pretty much in disaster.
like yah, my final paper was still such a horrendous one.
well, it doesn't deserve much mentioning anymore though.

FINALLY watched by 'becoming jane'. my eyeballs are prolly gonna fall off soon at the rate i'm watching all at one shot. it's real sad how jane austen never marry and how she lived her life alone. It's especially sad when all 6 of her novels always ended on a happy note. Anne Hathaway really played the role very well. and James McAvoy is really charming :D

those omigod grey-green eyes. they seemed to be speaking to you in one way or another.

it's a brillant movie i must say. Anne Hathaway really played the role of 'Jane Austen' brillantly. And 'First Impressions' is still a nicer name for the novel even though the main themes are really pride and prejudice, how someone is judged based on first impressions. i admit that i'm guilty of that, sometimes.

But ohhhhh. i really don't like how her life ended! ): it should have been much better.

today was a great day. too bad prelims ain't over yet. bahs.



3rd cake. it was good but i think i would have to boycott cakes soon.

well. not much studying was done so i need to compensate the amount back tomorrow. this's kinda bad though.

yah. the EPL fever actually. the last time i walked past the TV, arsenal won 1 vs the other team. the next time i was sitted at the balcony, i heard the guys screaming. not screaming actually but yes, the 'GOAL!' thing. the goal went to liverpool i think. well i ain't really an EPL fan but jus to make my post seemed longer, i shall jus attempt to type stuff that seems relevant. lol.

argh whatever. i'm feeling so tired. shall dream of more chemistry. bahs.

she only wanna think of things that will make her happy.
and she will.
and she still loves zhong ji mi ma, though she's a big loser at it.

i love them i love them i love all of them. (:

sleep time.

FANG IS HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! x)

well. i did the most childish thing that could be done and that was to refute my point back in public space initially.

afterwards i changed my mind. he's quite right bout how i would delete it. but the cause for doing so is no longer the same, compared to the first time where i specifically deleted his. but there really ain't much need now to clarify any longer.

well, time to become more mature and more gracious. arguing my way out would only aggravate things more than it should. and so i've learnt to abstain from rebuking.

maths paper 2 tomorrow. key factor is to survive this 3 hours.

good day ahead for tmr!

Purely nonchalent.

or just merely pretending to be?

i could barely decipher this any longer.

.

and so i survived today.

absolutely brillant.

i can jus imagine this humongous question mark over my head during that 3 hours, squashing my puny brain so as to generate whatever that can be written down into my essay.

3 hours. I swear that i could have just died.

Poetry is surprisingly easy compared to those past ones whereby I usually spent a good 5 to 10 minutes merely choosing. This's so retarded honestly. But well, this's the first whereby 1 minute was all that it takes to settle the selection process.

Bottomline is to feel happy cos' i've at least survived it. Yes i pretty much did and tons of luck to the history people. they must have been scribbling their lungs out by now.


we all have this little angels and devils in us. wonder so at times who has the last laugh actually. let's just laugh at our wretched lives and move on.

c'mon. let's survive tmr.

so i was watching the 2005 P&P. it was really heavily 'subsidised' if you get what i mean. It's shortened to a mighty great extent and the scenes jus popped out like nowhere.

But i love the cast. So it was still a nice show actually.

Was watching half of it ystd when I should have been studying econs but oh gosh. You just can't really much resist a good show. :D And i found my 'becoming jane'. Saw the trailer and it was really good. Wanted to watch it at the movies but argh, missed the chance. Anne Hathaway is really pretty. So is Keira Knightly.

And Mr Collins is really so funny. So I jus gathered from that scene a point whereby if you think you're gonna sound unintelligent, well then don't speak. It just make you seem so foolish and funny. So it was a real good laugh at how he proposed to Lizzie. But the book still has a better plot actually; it covers more in detail.

And mr liang is nice cos' he sent me the song that i wanted by yiruma. Well just in case he's reading this, i've quite mastered the song actually. (: And if favours are answered by posting on this blog, well i shall request for a black ferrari then. (:

i change my mind, a red one will be nicer.

yay. i shall dream of darcy.

RIGHT. goodbye. pray that i survive.

if you have scores "destiny of love" by yiruma, kindly send it to me. thank you!

.

One killer Chemistry paper 3 + 2 hours of straight torture

-------------------------> One screwed up cuifang.

catalyst added: tons of vulgarities.

well. I ain't really scolding cos' was busy trying to squeeze chem facts out but yah, failed. And I did the wrong question thinking that it was my saving grace but well, it wasnt. SHD HAVE DONE THAT STUPID NITROGEN CPD QUESTION.

Ok. I need to shut my gap. Go look at maths and hopefully, don't drown tomorrow while swimming for my life to pass maths.

lousy imagery. I don't really care. Shall worry on wednesday then for thurs paper. Gail and I will pray for our dear lives then i suppose.

PART 1: MSN CONVERSATION.

Red: Low
Purple: Me
It's supposed to be entertainment which low is desperately objecting me from posting it but it's jus hilarious.
We're all screw very loose. BAHS.

when i first heard it i caught it ok?
so i'm not tt slow.
haha
i really thought what stupid compound was that
hahahahaha.
really can
didnt you
didnt me what?
thought that was syupid compound was that
HAHA
LOL.
NO.
i understand it IMMEDIATELY
cos it was like no such cpd.
bahahahaha.
AHHA
are you sure?
someone just siad that she was abit slow in getting that
well.
in other stuff.
like eg. hor. friend in nj. prelims got 20. so o level got 6 pointswhen he told his mum he got 6 his mum asked what subject, get it?
well. it took me like 10 mins to understand.
not tt long la.
HAHA
so funny
but ong was laughing and saying tt i'm slow.
haha
like which subject got c6 lah
HAIYOH

PART 2
omigod.
you're nuts.
you want IMH contacts
haha. you mean for yourself?
i have alr.
so wondering whether you need ma.
haha
serious arh
nah
we can go together.
i dont need
or maybe i need it to register for my friend
buy 1 get 1 free.
HAHA
i can bring you along.
you think what
hotel bedrooms arh
LOL.
buy 1 get 1 free
i think you need it more than i do can
where got bedrooms buy 1 get 1 free.
more like you buy fruits right.
omigod.
this's darn spastic.
so funny.
buy vegs!
gosh. how come i can even think of buy 1 get 1 free.
i got membership
save more money.
go la.
you need it badly also.
i need company too.
haha
no?
crazy people do not need accompany
NOOOOO
need.
i insist

and i just told low online.

i shall live on my books.
Breathe in Econs, eat Chemistry, drink Maths.

I found it funny. Don't even know how i managed to come up with such thwarted stuff. I'm jus plain nuts.

And Lining said that I left out Literature. Ok. It's true to think bout it but well, there's no more room for Lit in that slogan. That sounds like the have more babies campaign slogan.

spastic.

I was just reading a friend's blog which is so very funny. Low can so understand how hilarious it is, especially the emphasis on tasks can only be accomplished 'after the a levels'

hilarious. so hilarious.

well. it's really THE GOSPEL TRUTH that all JC students are all muggers lest you are the odd one out and just wanna waste your time and your life actually.

Yah. My 18th birthday is gonna be spent staring at Maths hoping that for once, I can score a distinction.

AND PLEASE NOTE I'M NOT OLD, YET. I HAVE NOT reached 18 so low and the rest cannot say that I'm old okay?

well. JC life is horrendous.
horrendous. so so horrendous.

So it's pretty right to say that JC life is a terrible period. Period.

And I was watching 'America's got talent' last night. And I saw that 2 bravo violinists and I told my mum I wanna and should have learn violin instead of those black white keys. *roll eyes*

Ok. I shall stop being so degrading lest the piano guru theodora fung whack me up.

And so my mum stared at me and went 'you wanna learn everything'

But violin is so nice. I love the sound. But it's so tough to learn and I think I'm too old for that.
so hold it. turn back time. I wanna learn the violin.

so i shall stop blabbering nonsense and aim to wake up in time and rush down to the library.
And to not disappoint ms gail, i shall continue to love mr darcy.

those were the days, the campus 1 and 2, running about, slamming the council door, see-ing late comers do star jump, finding that badge every morn.

those days ended.

but memories stay.

And yes, saw theodora fung today which was so omigod. She still looks the same. (:

No change. Still as annoying. Still as funny. Yes. Cows drink grass. And that piano guru got a MERIT for her grade 8. screams. i'm gonna faint. goodbye.

1st look and i thought that it was all that i've been looking for.
2nd look and i knew that it was all what i hadn't really expect things to be.
so it's time to say goodbye.

.