RUN 4!

screams. i ain't know anyone going with me.
DIE.
i'm gonna be an introvert and rot in my little corner hurhur.
maybe i shall just feign sick and loner.
BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

on the other hand, i hope the quarantine thing don't work out.
pretty plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

quite right. i'm holding a little too much to false hopes.
i doubt i will get a shot actually, something strikes me as it being impossible definitely now, ever since the appeal results were released for him.
hard. i ain't even touched by whatever that i'm saying even, so how am i to be sure that it would touch the reader and show him my passion for something.
i do have it; maybe i just cant express it in the right way.

weird little thing.
i'm just forcing things, trying to make it work when everything is just crumbling apart eventually.
this's badddd. this's essentially impossible.
i kinda give uppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.
urgh. whatever.
pissssy!

unsure. uncertain. doubtful

i'm not sure whether to make judgements based on what others have said.
but for a group to make such a judgement and have such a slanted view all tgt, it might contain a bit of truth in it
i'm not sure where to head too. i'm getting a tad confused
to think i thought i was sure.
maybe i shall just let time do the telling.
let it fade. it's ending too anyway

uncertain. uncertain. very very uncertain.
now back to uni apps, its killing me still horrible thing!

pressure

maybe we shalln't try pushing things.
there aint the need to add unnecessary pressure
maybe the status quo now shall just do perfectly fine.
i like it, i think i do.
ain't sure. maybe that's how exciting things are, keeping matters perfectly vague and less clear cut.

pressure = force/area
force: so many things to do and to think and to make an rational decision
area: so little time, so little breathing space, so much to consider.
i feel like a banana split anytime from now.
bad imagery. but still, whatever whatever.

wondering. wondering and still wondering

lost.
where to go, where to hide, where to run, somewhere to cry.
lost in my thoughts. wanting to know why, why and why.
reasons. why do we need any in the first place.
go with your heart. that's so uncalled for in the first place.

lost.
hoping that time would make everything clearer
didn't. made everything much more vague.
uncertainty. making things seem even more unfamiliar
maybe it's just me, unaccepting of so much. so hard to step out of my little box.

my head hurts.
surviving more panadol like that everyday,
i bet i will die of panadol-poisoning soon.
tata!

cheery. not.

people whom you have known for a really long time, might not really know you at all.
while ironically, people whom you barely know might be the very ones who somehow are able to relate to you the best
tired. tired of making things that definitely won't work out, work out.
life's just weird seriously.

on a cheery note, i think i definitely have to pull myself out and register for my practical tho i'm feeling very very very lazy to.
and on a cheery note, i hope i do not fail my sight reading.
and i do not fumble during my first piece, play out the essentials of the second piece and score for my dynamics in the third piece.

and i still have not receive notification. still pending.
pending
pending
pending
pending
pending.

this post is absolutely filled with irony totally. cos' life ain't cheery at all.
nor is this post.

p.s on a weird note, my mum was trying to get me and ling go m'sia with her.
screams at the thought of going m'sia
i think ling would give in tho. hahahahahaa.

wishes

Wishes. Wishes and Wishes.
wishes for the nights to be longer,
while the days to be shorter
wishes that everything could stay as pretty and perfect as it is,
wishes that time could slow down for us sometimes.
wishes that the world could be a little less ugly
wishes that many things could be direct and less complex
wishes for things to be a lot simpler
wishes that she could be a little stronger.
wishes that life would have lesser grey areas
wishes for lesser 'maybes', lesser looking-back moments and lesser regrets.
wishes that life could be a little less harsh
wishes that she can see the world, explore every corner of it
wishes that someday, she would find eternal happiness