29th march. a few more days to april. it's pretty scary how fast time passes.
and i'm still feeling way too warm. i don't want a fever to erupt out, not now i know. and i want my skin to peel. sounds darn wrong but in the very least, i'm sure that i wont look as hideous as i do now. and oh shoots my skin hurts a lot now. urgh.

back to sleep then. i need i really need tons of it then pia my wu lin da dao if they are still showing it later.

cheers to that mannn.

maybe you left your heart somewhere. and could never find it back since then.

Realization

i stared into the mirror.

this feeling of insecurity started to sink in

who is this?

i never exactly could tell

as I stared at my own reflection

someone i barely know, someone who felt so foreign to me all of a sudden

someone who foolishly held onto hopes

someone who foolishly believe that miracles do exist

Life is getting more and more routine as the day passes. I'm pretty much looking towards opening of school. Get to know more people, crap more, laugh more and be happy more.

minus the academic nonsense.

And yes, I'm glad that there are still little things that I do look forward to at work. Laughing with the girls, doing nonsense, calculating kilobytes, playing pranks. Yah, these little things kinda matter now to me. And I never knew that Riko was so really old already. He became so skinny after all that hair was shaved. Or maybe he was already that skinny just that the hair was of good disguise for him. He's 12 years old alr. Old doggg. And i didnt get to see ong ystd. saded!

OT OT OT!

Oh yes. P.S the sky was really really pretty yesterday! :D

next week's gonna be busy. better survive through it and sleep a tad earlier. it's gonna help i suppose. mahjong craving! to be satisfied next week. hoorays.

all day long, i went kns-ing every 5 minutes.
see, positive influence from ong. she imparted this kns-ing destressing technique to me the other day. it really helps to destress tho. just that i'm spilling 'profanities' every now and then at every corner of my seat.

and today was the day that my heart really went out to this particular individual.

maybe she was just panting.

maybe it's just her speech impairment

but a part of me suspected that she was crying.

maybe it's how vulnerable i'm to be able to help her that hurts.

maybe i've just got to keep on trying

and keep it all going.

departure.

you left.

my heart bled.

.

FREEEEEbies

j has been increasingly nice. i dont think i will EVER compliment him but yah, i'm truly touched by his kind actions. he's been increasingly patient these days. AND thus i've decided to buy him a beanie when he heads for tekong. he protested that he doesn't need it now cos' he has his nice hair now.

not for soon i bet. beanue is nice. it's like those worn by american hiphop dancers. i like it man cos' it would make him look a tad cooler.

-imagine hard-

such a HAHA really. but i think for me, it's pretty much joke of the day totally.

so today started off on a bright sunny day. instantly became extreme dark when the calls begin. not that it was bad but the thing is that the thought of it just turns me off. and yah, xinyi headed back wayyy too early. boos to that.

and when it comes to goodie bags, i think we're all so cheapo cos' we went to queue for the pormegranate mangosteen drink which was really good. haha. and yah, i heard the freebies at the other side were much better. no idea but i shall head down tomorrow to see. it'll be pretty entertaining i'm sure?

freeeeeeeeeeeebies.

get the enthusiasm? hahs. i think i've just lost a screw

bedtime stories' freeeeeeeeebies!

MAYBEs

my head hurts. maybe it was the demanding job today that makes everything else so much worse. maybe it's the darn lenses which spoilt. or maybe i just got out of the wrong side of the bed. or maybe it's the long long application that's sucking all my brain cells. maybe it was that problem arising again that added onto my headache. or maybe i jus need to force-drink that i throw up and perhaps feel a tad better after that. or maybe i'm just terribly deprived of retail therapy. or maybe i just need the bed and some good night sleep.

or maybe i've just got an issue today.


when i thought i've let it all go, these memories are coming back to haunt. and i wanna make it stop but i cant.

circle of lies

maybe all this while,

we've been chasing each other endlessly

living in our small little worlds

living on our small little hopes.

and so what,

all that came to senses was that

it was wrong

and i should make it all stop

the only thing left is that we are back

back to our original positions,

neither moving forward nor back.

never exactly moving on from where we should have.

right from the start.

circle

it really is funny.

how he broke my heart

and i went on breaking his

and he continued on breaking hers

it all ended up as a vicious cycle apparently.

.

maybe it's jus a silly silly story.

the beginning of the end

i've finally managed to at least edit the darn font and the colours. so i reckon it's always good to navigate and play with the system cos' you might yield pretty good results perhaps?

and i'm starting to really abhor aunties and uncles besides my own relatives. urgh. must be the job that's turning me off everything around me but the mention of someone speaking in chinese and LOOK is seriously enough to put me off and perhaps to throw up.

today was a BAD day in short. but luckily there's onggg to make the day a tad less bad. :D

so i shall now begin my 14 days marathon soon perhaps. HAHA. chiong it totally!

--------

cos' i've thought it through
exhausting it is, to pick up the pieces left by you, one by one.
i've had enough, maybe it's time to stop.
maybe it's time to stop hoping that a miracle might happen.

saying that today is a bad day, is COMPLETELY AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
and i feel like throwing myself against a wall now
but the sane part of me tell me not to
i need my brains for tomorrow.
and i need to mug tonight.
maybe i will start fretting tomorrow.
or maybe even not.

*

and how nice.

someone screamed at me over the phone for a mere $0.40.

i'm truly amazed how i could even swallow it.

or maybe i'm numbed.

but pls, it doesnt matter how insane i'm tonight.

i hope everything would go well tomorrow and friday.

cos' for these two days, i think i need all the luck that i can ever get

For now.

i'm so pissed. i've been trying to edit that silly blogger template but to no avail and tadah, it's still the ugly screen here.

urgh. sick. i think my emotions are starting to be affected with that horrid news that results would be released on fri. i feel like running for cover immediately after receiving my results PLUS throw my phone away. or is would putting a paper bag over my head would be a better choice?

i think the former.

shit. and i'm gonna proceed with my 14 days work marathon aft results are released. i hope that's workable but i think 14 days would just leave me feeling a like a corpse but who cares, i seriously need money for my lessons. let's jus survive this results shit thing before i go worry about anything else.

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep time!

黑角 & 爵劇影色舞團

totally dynamite. cos' i had a hearty good laugh when 黑角 performed.

glad that they won though i prefer contemporary jazz. hahhhs.

hurrrayyys!